Keep Calm and Pass the Test

Here we are, Day 2 of state AIMS testing in Arizona. Yesterday, day 1, was brutal. I was so so so exhausted at the end of the day. And what did I do all day? Walk around, monitor, observe, cringe, all while trying not to really read any of the questions my kids were struggling with, and trying not to make faces when I saw them pick silly answers. My feet hurt, my eyes hurt, my head hurt, my heart hurt. I was just tired. 

But, I woke up, showed up, and here I am for day two! 

I don't know what it's like across the country in other schools during testing week. Things have changed so much since my elementary testing days. All I truly remember is that we got prizes for showing up on time, reminders were sent home to eat breakfast, sleep good, and have a good dinner. We were told to try our best, and show what we know. I don't ever EVER remember being stressed out about taking the MEAP test in Elementary school. I remember getting my score results and being mostly happy, but sometimes disappointed that I didn't do as well as some of my other classmates. But that lasted a few days and I moved on and forgot about it until the next year. 

Last fall (Fall of 2012) when I student taught, I was able to be present during MEAP testing. I remember walking around, helping a few students when needed, and just monitoring the testing. I don't remember feeling completely stressed out, or overwhelmed, and I know for a fact that none of my students felt those things. 

This year, in my current classroom, this is what I see, hear, and feel. 
** Constant reminders to eat a good dinner, get enough sleep, and eat a good breakfast in the mornings.
**Come to school on time!
** Rewards and tickets for good testing strategies, being respectful, showing up on time, etc..
**Me, as a teacher, COMPLETELY stressed out, worried sick, anxious, and nervous. 
** Students anxious, worried, second guessing themselves, and forgetting things they have already learned
** "Ms. Niehaus. I like scary movies. They don't scare me. Nothing scares me. Except AIMS. I'm scared of AIMS"
** "Ms. Niehaus, I'm gonna fail."
** "Ms. Niehaus, I don't want to repeat third grade."
** "Ms. Niehaus, If I fail third grade, why can't you be my teacher again. You're the best teacher."
** "Ms. Niehaus, I'm going to try my best and show them that you are a good teacher and that you taught us everything we need to know. So you don't worry!"

*** Students who are completely bored, burnt out, and exhausted while they wait for the rest of their classmates to finish sections, (which are not timed) IN COMPLETE SILENCE!

So, What's the difference? Where did all these new things come from? Why the stress and worry? 

High stakes standardized testing. 
It's not new. But the high stakes part is taking over education. 
This pressure has recently been placed on the teachers, because, God Forbid we just trust that our teachers can do their jobs efficiently, we have to have results that PROVE it... by testing the innocent students, and putting them in charge of our evaluation scores. 
Now, though, the pressure is just not for the teachers to be considered and evaluated as "effective"... No, that wasn't good enough, now we have to move that pressure and stress into the arms, hearts, and eyes of innocent, young, sweet, CHILDREN. 
I'm talking specifically about "Move on When Reading" - and other third grade reading initiatives across the country. Laws that state that any third grader who is not capable of passing the state given, multiple choice reading test isn't able to pass third grade and move on with their classmates to fourth grade. That student gets to be retained and repeat THIRD GRADE. At 8, 9, and sometimes 10 years old, they have to face emotional and social stress by not being smart enough to pass the reading test.

Growing up, I put a lot of pressure on myself. I had high expectations for myself, and I expected all As. I expected the honor roll. I wanted to be the smartest. My God, I wasn't even close to being the smartest, but I sure did try hard. I tried hard as hell to make my parents proud, my teachers proud, my family proud, and myself proud. 
I was one of the few who LOVED going to school. I would stay inside from recess to help teachers in the school, because I loved school so much.
IF "Move on When Reading" would have been in place when I was in Elementary School, I would have surely NEVER been a teacher. Especially in third grade. Because, you know what happened to me in third grade? 
... I moved from suburban Redford, Michigan in the middle of the school year to rural, farm country, Grass Lake, Michigan. I left all my friends, and all my family (my cousins and I were all within 20 minutes of each other), and we moved into an old farm house on 13 acres in the middle of NOWHERE. I remember being pissed. I remember exploring the woods with my brother, thinking we were SO cool. I remember seeing animals, like deer and rabbits at zoos, and we were now seeing them in our backyard. I'll never forget the first time I saw a snake... and my brother was cruel enough to chase me with me it. I had never remembered seeing a mouse, and all of a sudden, in third grade, they were in our HOUSE! 
Needless to say, in third grade, my WHOLE world changed. Now, as an adult, I couldn't be more thankful that my parents packed us up and moved us to the country, but as a third grader, I couldn't have been more angry. I had to make new friends, find new hobbies, new bike trails (which didn't exist in the country), learn to adapt to living in the country with animals, and adapt to a new school with new teachers, and a new principal (I was attached at the hip to my principal in Redford). 
IF, I would have had to take a high-stakes test like my kids are taking today, when I was in third grade, AND it determined if I would have passed third grade, I would have been a MESS! I probably would have passed, because I have excellent parents who take education seriously, and I had good teachers, BUT, I would have been so hard on myself, I would have stressed out, and I probably would have started getting fatter at a younger age. 

Anyway, enough about me. Let's talk about today.

My Third grade students who I have grown to love more than life itself, are stressing today. They are taking part two of their reading and their math tests. This test determines if they are ready to go on to fourth grade or not. They all take the same exact test, with the same exact questions and answers, at the same exact time with the same type of pencils, and the same environment. The common theme here is "same". Are they the same kid? HECK NO, they are not. They are all different. They all come from different home lives, they all have different parent situations, they all have different cultures,and backgrounds, and most importantly, they all learn in DIFFERENT WAYS. AND THEY ALL SHOW THEIR LEARNING IN DIFFERENT WAYS. Some of my kids are talkers. Some of my kids are creative, and can draw. Some of my kids can create products. Some of my kids can write stories. Some of my kids can use their knowledge about certain things to explain other things. BUT, not all of them can answer multiple choice questions after reading a passage that's THREE pages long, and not all of my kids have the same vocabulary levels, so they cannot all even UNDERSTAND the questions that are being asked, let alone how to answer them.
Do you know what all of my kid have in common? They all speak Spanish. Awesome, right? Not in the state of Arizona. The fact that their native language is not English, separates them from the rest. They don't have common knowledge of the English language, because they learned Spanish first, and some of them speak only Spanish at home. And, I can't teach them English using Spanish because bilingual education is not supported in the state of Arizona. 

So, here we are. All of these things going against my kids. Yet, they're still asked to alphabetize words to the 3rd letter, (which, they can't do), pick sentences that are written correctly in ENGLISH (which, they can't do), read stories and answer questions, (Which, they can do---when they are worded fairly), locate information in text, and even make inferences about the information they read(THEY ARE STILL LEARNING HOW TO GET INFORMATION FROM TEXT- So, no, they can't make inferences either). 

I, as a teacher, have seen so so so so much growth and improvement in my students this school year. I can't even begin to fathom how much they have grown. Part of the reason why I love third grade so much is because it is such an important year, and such a big year. They start third grade as little little kiddos, and they grow up so much and leave third grade as big kids who are starting to develop their own sense of identity. 
I will reflect on this school year later, as the year ends, but I do know that they are smarter, wiser, stronger, more intelligent, funnier, happier, and brighter than they were when they first stepped into Room 9 on Wednesday, August 7th! None of that will be tested, or shown on the test they are taking this week though. No one can test them and determine how much they have truly changed and grown this school year. That's something for your eyes, your ears, and your heart. You have to truly know who these kids are, who they were, and who they are capable of being to determine that kind of growth. That, my friends, is why I became a teacher. For THAT kind of love and growth. My job as a teacher is to prepare these kids (all students) for the future. That means educating them, yes. But, educating goes so much farther than passing a standardized test created by large companies who make millions of dollars, and so much more than any of us who are actually doing the teaching and held responsible for the results. 

I have expressed my concerns with other teachers, or people in the field, or retired teachers. I get the same results every time. People give me the same look. They say "Well, none of us went into teaching for the tests, but we have to deal with it" or "Yep, We do that too", or "My state/district/school tests all the time too." or "Testing is just part of the deal now" or "Did you really think it was going to be perfect?" of "My first year of teaching was awful too, it will get better" or my personal favorite "Why are you teaching then? Leave this field, thats' what everyone else does". 

Yes, all of those things have been said to me. And every single time, I just hold my breath, try to put on a smile, nod my head, and walk away. Walk away to cry to myself ,by myself, and probably, for myself. 

Here's my responses, finally. 
NO, I never expected it to be perfect. And, I am certainly not ignorant to the prevalence of testing in today's schools. However, I did expect to actually be able to TEACH. Because I did in pre-student teaching hours, I did during student teaching, and I did when I was subbing before getting hired. 
I expected it to be challenging, and I embrace that challenge head on, just like I do with any other challenge I face. 

No, I am not the only first year teacher in a title 1 school. I don't think my situation is the only one of its kind. However, I am new to the equation in this capacity. I had NO idea what to expect when I accepted a job at a school with 100% of the population receiving FREE breakfast, and lunch at school, and our district even offers free dinners throughout the week to families. My district also has the highest population of students who are English language learners in the country. And, in case you missed it, I work in the ONLY state in America that does NOT support bilingual education. So I can't support my bilingual students appropriately. No, I don't have it worse than anyone, and I know that other people have it worse than I do. However, it's not the same as working at a rural school in southeast or mid-michigan. And, it's not the same as working at school that supports bilingual education. So, instead of judging me and saying that I'm complaining, supporting me would be more beneficial. 

Yes. Every district/school/state has tests. However, this is my FIRST year teaching. This is my first real exposure to a whole school year in the same classroom with all of the bells, whistles, expectations, and challenges of a public school teacher. So, cut me some slack. Let me complain about the injustices that we face, and let me be pissed off about it. I'm just as pissed, if not more pissed than any other teacher right now about the testing that our kids face. However, I'm new and fresh, I haven't had years of experience with it to get used to it, and I don't know how I'll ever reach a point where I am just "okay" with it. I became a teacher to teach, just like every other good teacher in the world. So, the fact that I cannot just "teach" is really really really upsetting. Let me vent about it, let me complain, and let me pissed about it. Support me, but don't tell me to get over it, and don't tell me what I already know - "no one became a teacher to give tests". No shit, Sherlock. I'm not an idiot, but I am new. I am pissed. And I do still want to teach. Give me a break, and instead of belittling me by telling me you've been dealing with it for years, just tell me to hang in there, pray for me, and my kiddos, and tell me I'll still be okay. (even if it's a lie). 

So, as my kids wrap of the first part of their testing today, I reflect on the fact that this is week SIX that my kids have spent doing nothing but testing. SIX WHOLE FREAKING WEEKS of school for testing. By the time the school year is over, we will have tested SEVEN times. SEVEN weeks of instruction, collaboration, reflection, and learning lost because we have to give tests to assess learning. Can you just imagine for a few minutes how MUCH MORE learning could happen in this school if we didn't test SEVEN weeks this year? Even if we just had one state testing week, we would get SIX testing weeks back to TEACH and LEARN. 
So, when I say that I am burnt out and sick of testing, maybe you will understand for just thirty seconds, that I'm not complaining about one week of testing, I'm complaining about losing SEVEN weeks with my kids. I don't get them back, and they deserve them more than I do. It is their right to education in this country, and because I have to be held accountable as a teacher, they have to lose SEVEN weeks of their learning! 

I've grown a lot as a teacher and a person this year. I was super ignorant when I started school this year. I'm probably still ignorant, but I've learned a lot, gained a lot, and have a much larger outlook now. 

Pray for us! :) 

ONE MORE DAY! 

More review

My biggest struggle lately is that I'm not sure if I remember how to actually teach anymore. I feel like we have been just "reviewing" for so long. And review consists of teaching how the test assesses the problems. It's boring, overwhelming, exhausting, and just plain annoying. We had a review week before the last Galileo test, then a whole week of testing, and then spring break. Ever since returning from spring break, it's been nothing but review. Going over skills we didn't do so well on, trying to hit skills that we didn't do good at all on, and practicing the skills that we did okay on. We have been practicing with Galileo questions in small groups, but still trying to keep engagement by doing centers all week. Of course, it is still review, and as much as I have tried to individualize it, it's not working. This kind of schedule does not work for me. I miss relationships, and conversations. I miss teaching, and seeing light bulbs. I miss learning, and growing. I miss just being a teacher. 

I was thinking this morning about the end of the year. Well, you know we have the countdown already - 33 more wake ups! :) I was thinking about my end of the year review and how I could possibly fit a reflection of this magnitude into a blogpost. Especially me - the one who struggles getting to the point, and not writing for days. But, I was thinking about some of the things I've learned throughout this journey and I realized that it's just so crazy how I learn so many things every single day. Every day, I learn something new about my students, my classroom, my style, my growth, my teaching, my philosophy, my desires, my dreams, my co-workers, my school, my career. Every! Day! 
Every week, I try to adapt to these learnings and tweak things as I go, change plans, schedules, anything to make it better. 
But the one thing that stays consistent is the KIDS. They're mine. They're lovely. They're here, and They're here to learn. I am here for them. My purpose is them, their strength, their growth, and their learning. I love teaching, and learning. I always have. And Its never something that I have to remind myself of, it's just always there. I love everything about being in the classroom. I just can't wait to actually feel like a teacher again, and to also feel like I fit in at a school that I can call home. I have been so lucky in my life to have spent time at amazing schools full of amazing people who really took me and made me feel like part of the school family. I'm ready to feel that again, to feel that relief, love, support, and comfort. 

But. Here I am. One more week of REVIEW. And then, next week, my kiddos take the AIMS state test. It's their first time taking AIMS, and I have no idea what to expect, since I am from Michigan and not familiar with AIMS at all. I have heard that it is easier than the Galileo tests, and I can only hope and pray so. We have one more week of review to really grasp concepts and skills. This is it. IF my kiddos don't pass this reading test, they are retained into third grade again. :( 
As much as I try not worry about it, because I know I've done all I can do, I am still terrified. I have no idea what to expect, and it's literally out of my control after 3:15 on Friday of this week. 

Here are some pictures of our week in Room 9. Busy reviewing, but it didn't stop us from exploring the Butterfly life cycle! :) 

We also had our achievement assembly last week. Almost all the students got an award for meeting or exceeding in at least 1 of the 3 areas on the Quarter 3 Galileo test! 

The week back from Spring Break

Here's my biggest realization from this week... 
No one ever tells you how hard it is to come back to school after spring break. Holy smokes! Whoa!! 
After fall break, I missed my kiddos and was so excited to come back.
After Thanksgiving, I was excited.
After Christmas break, I was super excited to see the kids and get back to work.
After Spring break, I could barely get out of bed, and the kids weren't behaving badly, BUT THIS WEEK WAS HARD! 

We are back in full swing though, and have lots to review before the state AIMS test in 3 weeks. We have 2 full weeks left to review and master some skills, before ANOTHER week of testing.

Our Galileo data is not horrible, but not great. We have shown a lot of growth since the pre-test, and that is great news. I love to see growth! 

On Tuesday, we spent the WHOLE day taking the PARCC field test. It was long, it was miserable, and it was rough. But, we survived. 

Wednesday, we reviewed reading skills in the morning, and then had a "Frozen" themed afternoon. We watched "Frozen", which is ADORABLE! We, then made some snow, and played with snow. We even had one group make their own "Olaf". :) It was fun to have a snow day in our classroom, even though it was 84 degrees outside! :) 

Thursday, we did science in the afternoon, and played the game "Oh Deer". I Love that I was trained in "Project Wild" at EMU. It was fun to get out and play a game outside, but they also learned about how populations are affected when there are more deer than resources, or more resources than deer. It was great to teach, learn, and play at the same time! :) 

Another thing I have learned this week, has nothing to do with the classroom. I have realize this week that it is very important to remember, as a teacher, that other teachers have different philosophies, beliefs, procedures, and feelings about how their classrooms should run. We all do things differently. We all handle things differently, and we all come from different backgrounds. We all have different experiences. BUT, we SHOULD all be here for the same reason. We should all be 100% focused on the kids, even if we go about things differently. 
I think it is important to respect that we all do things differently, but if we are all focused on the kids, and their benefits, and growth, than we should only focus on us, and our classroom. We shouldn't be concerned about other classroom issues, unless we are asked for help, or unless it directly impacts us, our kids, or the school culture. 


I am ALSO pledging to NEVER EVER EVER forget what it feels like to be a first year teacher in a new school, in a new district, and a new state. EVER. I will never treat a new teacher the way I have been treated by other teachers this school year. 

Off my soapbox, now. :)

Here are some pictures from our week back!

We made all about me boxes, which turned into a weird version of hacky-sack. :) 

Taking breaks from testing on Tuesday!! :) 

Our FROZEN snow day!! :) 

Playing "Oh Deer" outside learning about habitats, and environments and our dependency on the things we need to survive! :) 

Have a great week!

2 more weeks of review!!

~Ms. Niehaus

Keep Calm, Spring Break is only 8 hours away!

No, seriously. Spring break starts in 8 hours. EIGHT HOURS! 
I used to get so irritated when teachers would count down to breaks like this. Like I have been. Shamelessly. 
And then ... I landed my first real teaching job. 
And I GET IT! Holy smokes! 
I am checked out and ready for a week of sleep, relaxation, hiking, and a visit from my best friend! 
When I taught preschool, I thought I understood. I thought I knew what burnt out was. I thought I knew when it was time for a break. OH NO! 
This is a whole new level.
Don't get me wrong - it's just as grueling in the preschool land. But, it's different! 

The last 4 days in my classroom have not been fun. Not at all. 
I read a quote on Twitter recently asking teachers if they would want to be a student in their classroom. That really stung for me. 
I started thinking - for a long time about my classroom.
We have a lot of fun, we learn a lot, it's loud, and we move around. 
I would say it's fun. 
But lately- that hasn't been the case. At all.
 We have been preparing to test, reviewing to test, teaching to test, and taking tests. It's been BORING!
It's been HORRIBLE for ME.
I can ONLY imagine how awful it has been for their tiny little brains. 
:(

And it doesn't really get any better. 
We have spring break next week. 5 days away! :)
And then, we come back ... :-(


It's a sad face because this it what MY classroom will look like after we come back,

Monday - Normal
Tuesday - Piloting the PARCC assessment ALLLL DAYYY LONGGG

And after that, we have 13 days of classroom time which will be spent soley focusing on "fixing" skills that we didn't grasp on the Galileo test so that we can prepare for AIMS (the state test). 

And after that,
FOUR MORE DAYS OF TESTING ALL DAY LONG! (The state test- AIMS)

This terrifies me, it saddens me, it frustrates me, and it worries me. I don't want to hate coming to school, and I certainly don't want my kiddos to hate coming to school - BUT WHO LIKES COMING TO SCHOOL TO TAKE TESTS AND PRACTICE TESTS?

Raise your hand if you do --

...

that's what I thought! :( 

So, as I have been pondering these things, and preparing to not be happy (even after spring break - which is supposed to refresh you) I have decided that I am determined to find a way to make these weeks enjoyable. 

Innovation is going against "normal" and stepping out of the box. Innovation is doing things differently, even when it's scary. I define myself as a teacher, as innovative. I step out of the box. ESPECIALLY at this school, where innovation doesn't happen. So, here's to being innovative - I have an obligation to get these kids to fourth grade - that means they have to pass the state reading test. That means that I have to prepare them for that test. BUT - that doesn't mean that I have to prepare them by giving them practice test questions every day and "fixing" them. 
And ... I have no plan. But I will get there. I will find a way! 


Here are some shares from our classroom and my life this week --

I have gained A LOT of weight this school year. It has been stressful, and emotional, and over-bearing at times. But, I am determined to find a way to still be healthy and active. It's not the same, and it's not easy- but I'm making small progress. I ran the first 5K of the year this past weekend, and I'm gearing up to run an 8K this coming weekend- my longest race ever. EEK! 

The joys of living in Arizona- Spring training! So much fun, and such beautiful weather! 

I Love when my kiddos do silly things like this - they all signed this card and secretly passed it around for me, and then secretly placed it on my desk one day this week. They are the best! :) I wish they had the opportunities to truly be more creative all day long. 

More snail adventures. We did have 2 snails die this week, but they've been active with us-- even a little bit of what looks like "snail fighting"... or "playing" ... the snails did an excellent job of distracting us from the bores of testing all week! :)

So, now what?

Spring break, that's what! 

Back to being excited - because I do deserve this break, and so do the kiddos. 

And because, I can be innovative, and step away from the norm to find a way to make "review" more engaging and fun! 

Happy, Happy, Happy!! 

Stepping out of the box...

Okay, well my last post was mostly about me, and my crazy thoughts.
But, here's what's been going on in our classroom. Besides, all the crazy test prep. :)

The title of this post is "stepping out of the box" because that's what I feel like I do.. every day. I am an innovative teacher. And, someday, as I continue to master MY craft of teaching, I will be supported in my "stepping out of the box", and truly, honestly, will find my place in the world of teaching, education, and learning. I will never be a "master" teacher, because there is always room for growth, reflection, learning, and improvement, but I can certainly continue my quest to "mastery" throughout my entire career.

So...
the last few weeks, wrapped up in a few pictures! :)

I LOVE these kiddos!!

Learning about transformations in Geometry by dancing the Cha-Cha Slide! It was so much fun to get up and move and the kids were able to really learn what a slide and turn were! :) Awesome learning!! 

Making Tree Maps of 3D shapes and their attributes! :) 

We reviewed facts and opinions and persuasive writing, by making an advertisement for third grade at Cartwright Elementary! :) So much fun, and we really like talking about positives! 

Tree Maps classifying 2D and 3D shapes!!! 

Observing seeds, and starting our sprouting seeds experiment! Will we be able to sprout seeds with only water? 

Ms. Niehaus had an observation during review week- we were reviewing Multiplication properties, and facts with fact families. We had to be festive, and make fact families using properties with Pots O' Gold! :) 

My Mentor, Mr. Bustamante, participated in Read Across America day, and came to read to us! 

We were surprised to see how much our seeds started sprouting with just water!! Making observations throughout the process! 

And.. we are really sprouting. Our bean seeds look awesome, but you can see we've got some Fungus on our other seeds. We have some questions for gardeners or scientists about the black specks on the fungus, and what causes that to happen. If there are any science people reading, help us out! :) 

After observing the sprouting seeds, we were able to take a look at a bean seed, open it up and identify the three parts of a seed. It was so fun being able to see the parts instead of just naming them like we had been doing! :) 

And now ... the exciting stuff. The next part of our science kit includes land snails, and beetles! WHOA! I was totally totally shocked when they showed up and completely grossed up. The beetles are still not my favorite, but the snails are growing on me. The kids love to get them out and play with them. So, even if they stink, and poop, and eat chalk, and leave slimy mucus everywhere, they have been a great distraction, and the kiddos LOVE them! :) 

And, that takes us to the end of quarter 3. We are still reading Olivia Brophie, and Sky Island. Check it out here : Olivia Brophie 

We are so engaged in the book, and can't wait to see what happens next! :) 

I leave with a picture from #EdcampPHX which I attended earlier in the month of March! Great time with connected educators! 

Have a phenomenal week! <3