My 2013 in Review as a first year teacher

Happy 2014! 

Holy smokes, where has the time gone? When I was younger and adults would always say "time goes by so fast", I had no idea what they were talking about. Phew, I sure do now. It will be 9 years since I graduated high school in June of this year. I'm coming up on 10 so fast, and I'm not so sure how I feel about that. I am officially half way done with my first year of teaching. So, here's a pretty honest and open reflection of my 2013 as a teacher. I sure have learned a lot, grown tremendously, and beat many challenges. 

1. Middle School is kind of fun! 

I had the opportunity to fill in as a long-term substitute as a middle school special education teacher. I worked with 6-12 graders. I had NO idea what to expect. No idea. I came in with high expectations and was quickly put back into my place and into reality. But, I soon learned that middle schoolers are kind of fun. They have attitudes, and many of them are not at their favorite place when they are in a school (especially in late spring). But, they are still adorable, still a little bit innocent, and still so willing to learn. I co-taught with 6th and 7th grade teachers (some of which were MY teachers in middle school) and I learned so much from them. I also quickly learned that high school education was NOT for me, thank goodness I never came close to considering that. Part of this position involved two periods of study skills at the high school. Talk about CHALLENGING. I was mistaken for a student several times in the hallway, and was even yelled at by another teacher. I had students way larger than I, and let's be honest --- they scared me - to death! But, I survived. The greatest thing that I learned from this experience is that you have to make the best out of every situation in education. Sometimes, learning opportunities come about in weird ways, and sometimes, the best learning happens when it's unexpected. :) 

2. Third Grade is still the best! 

I accepted my first real teaching job the first week in June after several phone interviews. After my phone interview for this particular school, I felt awkward. I thought for sure that I would never hear from them again. I was wrong. Way wrong. I made the toughest decision of my life. Packed what could fit into my Nissan Sentra and moved almost 2,000 miles across the country into my first apartment to start my first teaching job. Third Grade. Third grade rocks. My kiddos are absolutely adorable. They are a perfect combination of innocent, youth, spunk, fun, and imagination. They grow up so fast and so much in third grade. It's so fun. My kiddos are forced to grow up faster than most kids their age- but they are still just that, kids. And they are loving, caring, and perfect. I couldn't imagine another age group to fall in love with. 

3. Testing isn't going anywhere -- it's coming stronger and in fuller force than ever before.

Let's be real - I'm kind of stubborn. Okay, I'm a lot stubborn. I get that mostly from my father and his father. It's in my genes and I can't do anything about it. It's part of who I am and it has definitely helped to shape my personality, perseverance, and dedication in life. That being said, I came into the field of education thinking that I could "change" so much. I could get away from the God-Awful testing, I could ignore it, and the pain it causes, and I could just move on, in the direction education should be going. WHOA. Slow down, Sammy. I was WAY wrong. I can't ignore it, I can't move on away from it, and I certainly can't "change" it. I can, however, change my approach. I can change my attitude. It's coming, It's here, and it's not leaving. It's painful, it's awful, and it's dreadful. There is NOTHING Worse as a teacher than watching your precious babies cry real tears of frustration, fear, and doubt DURING a standardized benchmark test. There isn't much  I can do in that situation. I can't take the test away (like I wanted to), I can't throw the score away (Like I should be able to), and I can't take away the frustration. BUT, I can take away the fear, and show more love, hope, and strength. I can learn to embrace what I can, and help my kiddos get through it with the best of their ability. 

4. Sometimes, you have to do the things you "aren't supposed to do"

As a teacher, I have learned quickly that there are so many things you "can't do" or "shouldn't do". At least in my district and mostly when it comes to the dreaded...TESTING. However, sometimes, you have to just do what you think is best, even if that might mean "breaking a rule". The more I talk to teachers, the more I hear to "follow my heart". I became a teacher because I believe in children and their capabilities. I believe they can all be successful, but it's important to remember that success isn't something you can define globally -- it's different for everyone. 

5. Technology

I think this is the area I have probably grown the most in the past year. I have always been a technology buff, and it's something I feel pretty confident in in terms of knowledge and exploration. However, as I was finishing my career at EMU and graduating, all I would say was "I believe in technology in the classroom" or "Technology is important in the classroom today". I didn't know what I was really saying or what that meant. I remember writing my philosophy out on my website and really struggling to find words to explain my philosophy when it came to technology. I knew I was passionate about it and wanted to use it, but I couldn't articulate much beyond that. I student taught in a district that implemented a 1:1 Ipad ratio district wide. It was still new and some of the teachers were still very behind in using the initiative, and even of those that were attempting, only a few were actually using them successfully. I embraced this experience whole-heartedly and my students were using I-pads fluently in their learning. We were using edmodo every day, using and exploring apps, making imovies, writing, collaborating, exploring, and spent many days being innovative in our own ways. I fell in love with the idea of a blended classroom, but still wasn't able to articulate why or how. I attended conferences, starting watching more twitter conversations, and even began to re-tweet things. I was slowly starting to get involved with the global education community. When I started the school year, I entered a classroom with no computers, and the only technology I had was an old Macbook and a pretty sweet active board and active pens. I immediately became familiar with donorschoose.org and set up a project request for 2 ipad minis. Thanks to my fantastic support system back home in Michigan, I was able to get funded rather quickly and the ipads arrived. We started using them right away but it still wasn't enough for 26 students. I heard that we had a mobil laptop lab in the library so I started investigating that option. With a bit of skepticism and criticism, I was able to find 8 laptops, get them setup to work and connect to the internet, and keep them in my classroom without the whole lab. We started using technology every day. We were blogging, collaborating, tweeting, listening to stories, playing spelling games to practice our spelling words, using google, and online web searches. We started Mystery Skyping and we were on a roll! The first week of December came, and I was asked to return the computers that I had checked out. The reasoning was so that the lab would be complete and other teachers would be able to check out the lab. This seems fair, but in all reality, no other teacher at my school wants to spend the time with the laptops because they are so old, don't work unless they are plugged in to an outlet, and are more of a pain than a gain for the average teacher. Especially, in our district, where test scores outweigh everything else. I was given the option to check out computers from the "old lab". So, I took 8 computers and started exploring them. The first thing I found was that they had to be plugged in to turn on. The next thing I discovered was that the internet browser was extremely out of date. And finally, I discovered that the operating system was as updated as it could get, and it wouldn't even download an updated version of firefox, or google chrome. The browser available wouldn't load SpellingCity, KidBlog, or Twitter. Everything we had worked so hard to become proficient in was stripped from us just like that. I returned the "old lab" computers after spending my prep time, and after school time for 6 days trying to figure a way to get them to work for us. And, now we are back to where we started. Just the two ipad Minis. So there I sat, mad as all heck, angry, confused, frustrated, and lost. I had no idea what I was going to do. My entire Daily 5 rotation was based around having those computers. There's no way I could make it work with just the 2 ipads. So, I started thinking about letting the kids use my personal laptop, my personal ipad (which they already use), and my work laptop. I was trying so hard to make it work in theory. I couldn't in reality. So, then I sat there confused, and angry while I was trying to completely re-arrange my reading block and schedule. How was I going to do this? What in the world was I going to do? Rearranging my schedule wasn't as hard as I imagined. I started thinking about all the "cool" things I could do with a new reading block. I knew that I needed to be better with my guided reading groups so maybe this was the push I needed to become a better teacher this year. In all honesty, I think (and hope) that I become a better teacher each day that I step foot into that classroom. This is where I started to FINALLY be able to articulate my love and desire for a blended classroom environment. I slowly started to realize that it wasn't the computers I was going to miss, it wasn't the websites I was going to miss. Instead, it was the collaboration between my students, and our new friends that we had made on Kidblog. We can still collaborate on twitter with the ipads and my cell phone though, so I started to feel a little better. And then, I decided to put A LOT of effort into getting a class time to spend in the middle school computer lab on our campus once a week. Then, we can take our writing to type, and still collaborate once a week. I started to feel a little better. I was going to miss the ability to see the global knowledge increase in my student's minds. Again, I can fix this with teaching and using the ipads. I just have to work on managing better --- again, part of becoming a better teacher. Another thing that I was sad about missing was the ability to teach and grow as digital citizens, but again, we can still work on that with the ipads. I know that my passion and philosophy on using technology is still developing and I still have so much more to learn and room to grow, but I'm finally feeling like I know what I'm talking about. The most important thing I've learned is that it's not the technology that's important --- you can't just shove technology in a classroom and expect students to learn and teachers to teach. The most important aspect of technology in the classroom is the outcomes, the growth, and the gains that are possible with the HELP of technology. You can not simply fix the classroom with technology. That's a big step for me- I'm getting there. AND, I am even starting to participate in Twitter chats and I am learning so much! 

6. Growth

Reflecting on growth is easy for me. I have seen my kiddos grow so so so much in the first half of this school year. At the beginning of the year, they REFUSED to talk in front of each other, share answers, collaborate, talk on camera, mystery skype, anything that took them outside of their comfort zone was absolutely out of the question. We also struggled with geography. My kiddos told me that Phoenix was bigger than Mexico, North America was a state, and Vegas was a state. They had NO idea about anything beyond their neighborhood in western downtown Phoenix. We had a lot of work to do and ground to cover. NOW, we know almost all of the 50 states, how to find east and west of the Mississippi River, how to find bordering states, and capital cities, and how to use clues to share our location and find the location of friends in Mystery Skypes. We also LOVE to talk to new friends, our video taping ourselves and showing our learning, talking in front of our peers and doing presentations. We are stepping outside of our comfort zones, learning to trust each other, and becoming great citizens, in the real world and digitally. The best growth reflection I can make is that I can become a better teacher every day, I can always learn, and learning is certainly so much fun! 

7. Reflection

Another major thing that I have learned this year is the importance of self-reflection. Blogging has seriously helped me in this area. However, something I have learned as of late, is the importance of not being too hard on myself when I do self-reflect. I am not perfect, and I can't ever expect to be. I can change, I can make adjustments, and I can become better, but perfection isn't attainable. IF I truly put my heart and soul into what I do, how I reflect, and how I make changes, I am doing okay. Reflecting isn't helpful if I don't do anything with those thoughts. But, reflecting also isn't helpful if all I do is beat myself up in those reflections. Sometimes, things aren't going to work, sometimes, the kids aren't going to get it the first time, and sometimes, it's just going to be depressing. The important thing is to remember that how I handle and control the outcome is more important than the outcome itself. 

8. 2014 Goals

And, finally.. my goals for 2014. 
1. Become a better blogger. 
2. Become better at self-reflection, and not beating myself up too badly when things don't go perfectly every day.
3. Find a teaching job closer to home in Michigan. 
4. Embrace what I have and make a positive out of every situation
5. Take more pictures. I know I take a lot, but I really want to be able to embrace and remember this year. It has been so so special already. 


And I end this super long post with a few pictures from our last couple of days in 2013. 
I am very excited to begin again in 2014 with my precious 3rd graders. We have a lot to learn, a lot to remember, and a lot of fun to be had. 

Happy New year! 

Happy New Year! 

~ Ms. Niehaus~